In the morning

I woke up this morning and i realized that i loved you. I knew this to be true because i could not help but remember the way u smiled at me the last time i saw you. I remember the feeling of your lips on mine. I can still feel the touch of your arms wrapped around me as i fell asleep in your arms. I eoke up thos morning and realozed how much i need you. How my days and nights seem to go slower when your not around. Or how food doesnt seem to taste the same when i can not look into your eyes. Who am i gonna run to when my world falls apart and i'm lost in the dark and i am all alone. Or when my friends start to trip and i qm losing my grip who am i gonna run to. I woke up this morning and i just wanted to cry because i look over to the otherside of the bed and realizes your not here and the last time i saw you was so quick. So i woke up this morning and knew that i loved you.


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Letter to my dad

So I am sitting in my room staring at the wall and you come to my mind and the emotion that comes across is that i hate you. I hate you for leaving her and making her fend for herself. How the fuck can you call yourself a man by leaving with three kids and then having another one by someone else. I Mean do not get me wrong i Love my little brother, but damn u left my mother to be with his mother. I Was made from you i am a part of you and you are a part of me.I can not count how many times i wished we were closer and i could come to you with my question and my concerns. I remember the time i cried to you about something that happened at school and you told me to suck it up.

i Just wanted to to just say it will be alright. Sometimes i blamed it on the military but i can not do that the further i get in to my own education i learn more and more. I am in school on my own accord despite you telling me i will never make it to no ones college i am doing damn good and will graduate soon. I grew up a man and your no where to be found. You had so many different women running in out of my life it got too a point where i dint care about there names anymore, i think i lost count after Don in Atlanta. I finally understand why i do not know what love is because i saw u go through people like dirty underwear, and that is how i am myself.

I do not know what love is because you never told me you love me, you never showed it too much. You showed me discipline and made me fear you but love i am not even sure you know how to show that. I think i am the only one of your kids who cares if you live or die i try and reach out too you but u push my hand away every time. You are 50 and you just got a divorce from a great women and your alone again, maybe going in and out of women again. Dude you are old and alone i would hate to be you. But the truth is i think i am becoming you and that scares me.

I hate you so much for making me this way and not being around like you should. i wish i was born to a different man and family because you made us so distant from the family i couldn't know if the person standing next to me is my cousin or an aunt. But the truth is that i love you and miss you dad you are a part of me and i am a part of you. so if this letter should ever reach out i love you and need you right now so how come you do not want me.

So It's Funny To Me

So you see it's funny to me
because in my eyes you mean the world
but i feel that to you i am just a small part of your world.
I look at you and i see forever
And when you look at me i see in your eyes just for this moment.
So you see it's funny to me
that i feel for you when I think you just want to feel on me.
I hold your hand and
our future begins to unraveling before me
like the red carpet at the Grammy's.
But for you, i think there is no future with me.

So you see it's funny to me
that i wear my heart on my sleeve
while you just love wearing a shirt with no sleeves.
I lay next to you at night wishing
that you won't ever stop holding me tight.
But you, i think you feel like you wish you can get you Sum sex tonight.
With you the sky is the limit,
but you make it seem like the door to your house is our limit.
So you see it's funny to me
that i wanna show you to the world,
but for you just you and i is enough.
Sometimes i cry wishing i was able to read your mind
to know what and how you feel.
But for you your feelings are unclear.

So you see it's funny to me
that i see us as a romantic movie,
while you see us a horror or comedy.
I fall to my knees to make sure you are pleased
but for you this does not come with ease.
So you see it's funny to me
that i am the one who still believes
in the fairy tales and the happy ever afters.
When you believe in the not after today's.
I know i can fix you if you broke
but sometimes i am not sure if your punch lines are a joke.

So you see it's funny to me
that i am Speechless around you
and you expect me to speak.
So it's funny to me.

How Strong do you think i am

If I don't cry, Do you think I don't feel?

If I look away, it doesn't mean I don't see,

And just because I want someone when I'm alone,

Doesn't mean I'm helpless,

That I can't stand on my own.

How far can we go before we break?

How long can I wait?

How strong do you think I am?

How much can I take of this?

Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?

Or the breath at the end of a kiss?

How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,

You make it harder than it has to be,

How strong, how strong do you think I am

Running wit the devil

Looking up straight

Find a hand on his shoulder

Trying to find his way through the city

Crawling through an alley

On the floor, by your door

Needing help with the feeling that he's had before

Never calling anyone

Feeling unloved

Saying goodbye

Life is better when you're high, nevermind when you're there

Cause they never play fair

They never play fair

Maybe you will, maybe you won't

Turn the clock around now

You think it's always better but it won't

Take you away up out of here

Standing on the tracks

For someone to appear

Running with the devil, running with the devil

Another thin Line

I'm getting up know

the sun is burning my eyes and I ache

I'm living on a, freeway, running low on heart and good mistakes

I'm taking it to..living,just living all the lives I have to live

I'm playing off this feeling knowing that it's time to be forgiven

If I could only come around I'm looking in the black

Just stop and turn around I need to get this off my back

Am I outta my mind, for faking what's inside of me?

It's like I'm walking on another thin line

where the fools keep on thinking I'm blind

I'm waiting for the day walking on another thin line

Perfect

Maybe I don't say all the right things

Maybe I stumble on my words

Maybe I laugh at all the wrong times

Maybe I mumble and I curse

The best I can do is to be myself

And I hope it's enough to make you proud

I can't explain just why I'm acting this way

I can't control it, so I go with it

I'm just a boy, I won't be changing the world

And boy you know that, I'm not perfect

But I'm perfect for you

You jump in the room, my head is clear

You make the world just disappear

So open up your eyes and see

I can't explain just why I'm acting this way

I can't control it, so I go with it

I'm just a boy, I won't be changing the world

And boy you know that