Being black today

What does it mean to be black In America is something that isn’t very easy to describe or explain. To many people the response would be different, there is no one answer. To me it means to always have a label tattooed to you, and to always have to prove ourselves. African-Americans have made great strides in America today, but we still have a ways to go. There is a lot of mistrust among blacks toward each other. Even though African-Americans can become millionaires, many of us are living near the poverty line. We need to stress education instead of thugism in our communities. We need stronger black leaders who are not afraid to get their $1,000 suits dirty. We have to overcome this second-class mentality we have about ourselves. We are still struggling for equality in areas of education, job market, housing market and police brutality. It has been said that America is about equality. When do we get our share? We are still fighting for rights that should be equal to all. In all honesty, being black in America is a lot different from the 1930s or even 1960s. We are able to achieve a lot more and we are not barred from going and living where we choose in most instances. We are able to live the American Dream in a sense. But what does being black in America really mean? For some, it means a heavy burden and the continued discrimination, though very subtle in most instances. For others, it means the culmination of dreams. Many blacks have transcended race and today we stand on the threshold of greatness--Barack Obama, the first African American to be a serious contender for the presidency. We have made great strides towards equality for all, but we are still a long way off. For many of us, being black in America means living in with the burden of mistrust by many, inferior health care, rundown neighborhoods, high crime rates, high school drop out rates and being automatically suspected of crimes and even being falsely imprisoned for crimes we did not commit. So, when Michelle Obama uttered those words that she was proud of her country for the first time in her adult life, I understood and appreciated what she meant. Unless you are black in America, you will not fully understand her position, but you can appreciate her candor. You see, America was not always kind to blacks and still isn't in many regards. So, from a historical context, being black in America was living hell for so many of our ancestors

I Knew You

I knew you
You knew me
Now I wonder
If I'd ever see you again

Some say it's all a crazy dream
Others a forever reality
Your guess is as good as mine
Life's got me wondering
If I'd ever see you again

I'm looking everywhere I can
Could one more clue
Lead me to you
My heart keep trying to know
If I'd ever see you again

Some say it's magic from long ago
If so, it's all unbelievable
Where have you gone?
Like a missing piece of a puzzle
I hoping to know
If I'd ever see you again

I once laughed with you
Deeply I've looked into your eyes
Felt you so alive
To god within my soul I'm questioning
If I'd ever see you again

tho4 t h h M ny deaths in my life that occurred last year did not have an effect on me but slowly they were affecting me internally. While I was in Atlanta I learned to face those feelings head on and now I am back in Miami and back in school at Florida Memorial I am doing ok as of now I am just taking it one day at a time and learning to open up to others and not deal with everything on my own. I was inspired to write a book about my personal life experiences in the hope that someone reads it and learns from what I been through and it helps them. My major is psychology. I am trying to get back on the right track again, I found my faith again and I am ready for whatever comes my way.

Honestly, there's no way I could possibly describe myself because everyone has a different perception of a person. All you need to know is that I love who am and I will not change for anyone. You'll either love me or hate me, and I could care less which of the two you end up choosing. I'm really not interested in what people have to say about me anymore because the only opinion that truly affects me is my own. I'm all about experimenting and trying new things at least once. I'd really like to travel the world and see different backgrounds, cultures, and environments. I want to own my own business but I'm not sure exactly what I want in life just yet, But I do know I want to be with someone that I love for the rest of my life and to be happy.

My ultimate plan is to get my degree in psychology and open up a place for teenagers to go. I would call it “Sanctuary” it is a place where adolescents can come and be free and away from the streets where they won’t have to deal with drugs, gang violence, as well as getting away from any problems at home. Also they will be able to learn more about themselves as well as others and learn to coexist with others who are different sexes, races, and religions. They will also be able to get help with their homework and any problems they have at school. I want my “sanctuary” to be a safe place where they are able to form their own opinion with out being influenced by an outside force.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”. In that regard, my life has not been all sunny and happy. As a small child, I went through many trials and tribulations. For example, being put in the foster care system, the loss of my mother, these things has made me become stronger as a student as well as a man. I have endured so much in my life. I am more mature than most people my own age. I believe that I am a very positive person who likes to help others; I also try to teach them how to live life each day with a positive attitude, regardless of setbacks. Although I have had many setbacks in life I do not use it as an excuse, or, as a clutch to receive anything not genuinely earned. I would rather be rewarded by my character, drive, determination, and aspirations. My ultimate plan is to get my degree in psychology and open up a place for teenagers to go. I call it “Sanctuary” it is a place where kids can come and be free and away from the street where they won’t have to deal with drugs, gang violence, and they can get away from any problems at home. Also they will be able to learn more about themselves as well as others and learn to coexist with others who are different sexes, races, and religions.

This is Me

Let me introduce myself my name is Christophor Douglas I recently found myself at a crossroads in my life; so I picked up and moved to Atlanta. The true reason for me going to Atlanta was to go and find myself again. Since leaving high school I lost the will for an education anymore, I thought that the many deaths in my life that occurred last year did not have an effect on me but slowly they were affecting me internally. While I was in Atlanta I learned to face those feelings head on and now I am back in Miami and back in school at Florida Memorial I am doing ok as of now I am just taking it one day at a time and learning to open up to others and not deal with everything on my own. I was inspired to write a book about my personal life experiences in the hope that someone reads it and learns from what I been through and it helps them. My major is psychology. I am trying to get back on the right track again, I found my faith again and I am ready for whatever comes my way.

Honestly, there's no way I could possibly describe myself because everyone has a different perception of a person. All you need to know is that I love who am and I will not change for anyone. You'll either love me or hate me, and I could care less which of the two you end up choosing. I'm really not interested in what people have to say about me anymore because the only opinion that truly affects me is my own. I'm all about experimenting and trying new things at least once. I'd really like to travel the world and see different backgrounds, cultures, and environments. I want to own my own business but I'm not sure exactly what I want in life just yet, But I do know I want to be with someone that I love for the rest of my life and to be happy.

My ultimate plan is to get my degree in psychology and open up a place for teenagers to go. I would call it “Sanctuary” it is a place where adolescents can come and be free and away from the streets where they won’t have to deal with drugs, gang violence, as well as getting away from any problems at home. Also they will be able to learn more about themselves as well as others and learn to coexist with others who are different sexes, races, and religions. They will also be able to get help with their homework and any problems they have at school. I want my “sanctuary” to be a safe place where they are able to form their own opinion with out being influenced by an outside force.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”. In that regard, my life has not been all sunny and happy. As a small child, I went through many trials and tribulations. For example, being put in the foster care system, the loss of my mother, these things has made me become stronger as a student as well as a man. I have endured so much in my life. I am more mature than most people my own age. I believe that I am a very positive person who likes to help others; I also try to teach them how to live life each day with a positive attitude, regardless of setbacks. Although I have had many setbacks in life I do not use it as an excuse, or, as a clutch to receive anything not genuinely earned. I would rather be rewarded by my character, drive, determination, and aspirations. My ultimate plan is to get my degree in psychology and open up a place for teenagers to go. I call it “Sanctuary” it is a place where kids can come and be free and away from the street where they won’t have to deal with drugs, gang violence, and they can get away from any problems at home. Also they will be able to learn more about themselves as well as others and learn to coexist with others who are different sexes, races, and religions.

Bitter

I am very biter right now, beacuse once againg LOVE has proven not to be a friend of mine. And I am tired of being betrayed by her... so I have some questions for her and I hope she has the answeres.

Love...

Why do you keep playing with me?... Can you tell me that?

Why do you keep coming into my life, then leaving me?... Whats up with that?

Do you know how long I've waited for you?... How I've longed for your touch?

I just want you to be real?... Is that to much?

Why do you keep lying to me?... Is honesty hard for you?

Why do I keep falling for you?... I must be a fool!

Do you know that I've told lies for you, beacause I thought you were the truth? That I've walked miles upon miles just to be near you?

Is it me? Did I do something wrong?

Do you not feel at home in my heart, in my thoughts, in my soul, in my arms?

I'm upset now but give me a moment. I still want you but I need you to be honest with me.

Stop playing games with me..Be with me forever and never leave...Be what I know you can be.

Can you give ME securtiy? Be honest and true? give yourself to no other? Only me and you?

Can you do that? If you can then I'll take you back.

But if you can't then we can never be.

Beacuse LOVE I am tired of you hurting me!

Walking through someone else shoes

The movie Avatar in my opinion is a very good that has a very common story plot that has been used throughout Hollywood for numerous of years in such movies as Tarzan, Pocahontas, and other movies where another man from another culture comes and saves the day. While seeing the movie I realized a lot of different elements and themes. Imperialism, Militarism, Social and Cultural themes. No where in the movie did I see any thing dealing with race in the movie. Yes ok in the movie Jake Sully does come in learn the secrets of the people but in doing so he learns the ways of the people and learns that all things are scared. In the beginning Jake is presented with the opportunity to gain back something he lost if he betrayed the Na’vi tribe. The only thing I see in this movie is the main character transforming from a villain into a hero.

In the Movie Jake comes in and swoops the whole culture off their feet but it is because he is different, because the Na’vi never met a warrior avatar before. This is the case in society period we as a people are intrigued by something new; I like to call it the new kid comes to town complex. Meaning when the new kid move to town we get intrigued by him and wants to learn more about them and this movie is no different. Okay so Jake came in and stole Neytiri from Tsu'tey the reason behind that was that she made a connection with Jake and was not forced to be with him they way she was with Tsu'tey .In the article Ezili addresses when Jake rides Toruk and he becomes a mystical hero.

Ezili sees this as emasculating black men but is it really that or is it that Jake had to prove to the Na’vi that he changed and now wants to help save them. So is this really the white savior thing? When indigenous populations who are at a bow and arrow level are met with technological superior forces, if somebody doesn't help them, they lose. So we are not talking about a racial group within an existing population fighting for their rights". I think the purpose of the movie was to show someone else walking in the shoes of others in a way to try and get along with out all the violence, and hate. That what the purpose of the Avatar program was to have the humans walk in the shoes of the Na’vi to see and learn more about them to find a way to help each other.

The only reason that it did not work was because as usual man got greedy and wanted everything in the end and wanted to flex their muscles which led to the destruction of the “Tree of Voices” in the article “The same old white savior complex” Ezili comments about Sigourney Weaver character Grace saying “ She is the scientist who is wiring the human brains in the avatars to try and win their trust” When in fact she wasn’t trying to win their trust she was trying to understand them and help them so she could resolve things peacefully. Grace loved the Na’vi to the point she wanted to become one she never once denied her love for the Na’vi even at the beginning when she was upset the Jake was another soldier and not a scientist.

So in conclusion I feel the Ezili is seeing the movie as being black and white and not for what it really is a movie about learning different cultures. Finding a way for people to come together without the use of violence, but by the power of understanding each other and compromising. Avatar is trying to put in to action a way of changing our own world, by just listening to each other. We as a society have always felt that the world is black and white when in fact not in all cases is it this way. There are many different shades and cultures that we can learn from if we only just sit back and just listen. We have a black man in office now so time to get the chip off the shoulder and take responsibility for ourselves

What Happen to daddy little girls

What Ever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl: The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women

While its title appears to promise a factual exposition on the impact of absent fathers on black women, we really only learn its impact on the author and a few others. It is up to the reader to extrapolate further. Barras quickly shoots down her own premise by reminding us that fatherlessness is not a problem limited to or universal among blacks or black women. If you buy the well-worn argument that all mothers without men are victims and their children are doomed, this book may boost that unfairness. She writes, "Do not women ... also witness an indescribable pain that shadows them throughout their lives? Do they?" It is difficult to find a universal answer, if indeed there is one, in these pages.

The statistics are included, and the bibliography lists many related books, including novels, but it is not apparent that she has drawn on them or used them effectively in her research and arguments. She writes with such emotion (as if she herself is not healed) that it is difficult to see her as a source for advice. Her cure-all is simple: forgive and you shall be healed. The book may be helpful to some who share her pain (and feel helped by others' tales of woe) or who want to understand women who feel abandoned because they were not reared by the men who gave them life.

It might even move some fathers and mothers to do more to maintain ties for their daughters, or some adult daughters to go talk to the person they believe has abandoned them. But for me it just rang hollow, laying open old wounds and falling short on the salves and gauze necessary to help me heal properly. Fatherlessness afflicts nearly half the households in America, and it has reached epidemic proportions in the African-American community, with especially devastating consequences for black women. What happens to little girls who grow up without a father?

Barras, an accomplished journalist, identifies the "fatherless woman syndrome" and discusses the research that confirms that fatherless daughters are far more likely to suffer from debilitating rage, depression, abuse, and addictions, they tend to seek "healing" through promiscuity or anti-intimate behavior, and often end up fearing or despising the men whose love they crave. Barras gives voice to the experiences of America's fatherless women using accounts from women she has interviewed and her own personal story. She also offers a 25-question self-examination for women and advises on how to begin the healing process. These are groundbreaking insights for fatherless women of any heritage.

When I finished reading this I found to be left with a lot of questions one for example was are women the only people who experience this? Me being a male and having the same situation happen to myself I find it rather sexist that she thinks that only women experience this. Playing the devils advocate was about motherless children who grow up with out the love and affection that only a mother can provide. We all know that most males are unable to show there own emotion especially to their kids. Take for example my father he never told me he was proud of me or told me he loved me, nut I hear it from my step mother every time we talk. So as you can see that this doesn’t apply just to women but also to men as well , I think the book should be re-titled and redone to include the male perspective.

if i could grant any wish i would give you the world
if i could stop all time i would freeze the seconds we kiss
if i could hold on to one thing i would hold on to you forever.
if i could have anything, there wouldn't be anything except your love.
if i could tell you any thing i would tell you i love you for all time
if i could give up anything i would give up my freedom so that you will alway be mine.
If my dying wish could come true i would wish that you would wish for a final kiss.
with seconds truning into days, and days truning to months i i am thankful tat i found you.
if i could do anything i wold always keep you next to me.

someone tell me how to stop a broken heart from crying?
someone tell me why is the heart such a heavy burden?
someone tell me why love is so hard?
someone tell me why it leaves you in scares
crying and longing when you can't go on any more.
when the world loses colors and you lose all hope.

So someone tell why are these tears falling from my eyes.
someone tell me why can't i fell me heart anymore.
no beats, no thumps, just stright silence. the pieces have falling and it won't return.

So someone tell me why am i looking at these pills hoping for a end.
a way to slowly fade into the voild of nothing.
Someone tell me why the people who say they are my friends who are on my top friends list are no where to be found while im on my slippery slope heading down.
day is like night as i stare at the picture of a false smile that i made.
the truth behind my eyes is sorrow and dispair. looking in the mirror trying to trick myself that i love me.
So Someone please tell me how to stop a broken heart from crying?
before the broken heart kills me!

Somebody tell me

“Death Gotta Be Easy Cause Life Is Hard.” Curtis Jackson.

Well if death is so easy why are there so many people trying to live it day to day?
So the big question to everyone is, is life so hard because it is meant to be or is it that way because we make it hard. Ok So I kno it has been a while since I last wrote something on facebook. The reason behind that was because at that point in time my life was going ok. Nothing major was wrong I was back in school making da grades just having fun. But I guess you figured it out now that I am writing on facebook again that I must be having something go wrong in my life now.
So as you all know that I was in the process of joining the navy right? So about to weeks ago I actually did join it and I was sworn in, so my ship off date was supposed to be August 15, 2008. so b4 I was to ship off I had to Finnish all my lose end like for example my job, so I had to tell my employer and quit. I had to leave school and withdraw, and finally I had to leave my apartment that I had wit a roommate with. So my roommate was already planning on leaving on Thursday and so was I. Thursday came like it always does but our plans came to a halt. I was called by my recruiter and was told there was a problem with my paperwork and so I couldn’t be shipped off Friday. Mater of fact he doesn’t know when exactly I can be shipped off. So I have been here in this apartment with no bed, no t.v, no pots, and rarely any food at all.

But that isn’t the worst thing bout it I can’t even afford to pay the whole rent for August so I am being thrown out in a couple of days with out a place to go, no family and hardly any friends.
There was a point that I did cry and I prayed and prayed. But all I could think of was to do what I do best and write and try to use this experience to help others. So I ask again is Death easy cause life is hard? Always remember while you are going through your storms always remember that there is someone else worst off then you are out there and be thankful for God has placed in your life, and keep him close and don’t turn your back on him, because he will never do it to you.
So now I am bout to jet out of this apartment so this will be the last time I will be writing in this apartment. So I hope that this letter touches someone and helps them with there problems

I Love You

Dear Chris,

Hey shawty wuz good i am writing a letter to you cause i figurg that right about now you need it. I wanted to let you in on a few feelings that you should know. I know right now you probly are down and hurt and just think that you just sucks. But really you don't. You are smart,funny,sexy,and got a big ass dick(lol) but no on the real I Love You. I Love you more than words can express. You make my moon raise and the stars shine. You are the sexiest Man I Ever layed eyes on and that i know. I am lucky that i kno you and i am blessed as well to be able to hold your heart in my hands. Years ago i let you slip away from me but never again. I'ma hold you so tightly and love you so fiercely that you won't need another man in your life. Man after you comeback from your trip i'ma help you smile again. I love it when you when you smile. I love hearing you laugh. I Just plan out love you, so i'ma let you go and i hope you make the best of what's left of your trip and Remember that I Love You

Love, Always
Christophor Letrell Douglas

Letters to a college student

Good morning To All those who are starting school this Morning. Today marks a new beginning for some of you, and for others it's just continuing on your path to an enlighten mind. I wanted to write all of you a note that is telling you to never give up on this path. You have chosen to continue down a path that many others have walked before you. I want to address the freshmen first, as you embark on this journey, remember to never let you head hang low. Walk tall everyday and don't let the distractions of your university get to you. You’ll have chose to continue your education, when it could have been just as easy to stop and just start working.
Instead you decided to enhance your knowledge ever further.

A Great man once said "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy” (Martin Luther King Jr.). Meaning life will throw many obstacles in your way it is your choice to let them stop you or to Press on and fight. You already did the easy part by getting into college. The hardest part is staying in and getting your degree. So freshmen college is a place to find your own personal identity and leave the high school one behind. Today marks a Fresh start for you all.
Words of advice is to Go make some cool friends and get to know your professors'. Remember the friend's you make in college will be the one's you will keep for life. No to address everyone else, time for us to take one step closer to our dreams and our goals, for some it may mean one step closer to pledging, another step to Making Billions and for others proving to yourself and others that you are worth something. What ever your reason is hold it close and never forget it. This will be your Driving force this year, do not let controversy hinder you from your goals. Do Not let self doubt stop you from pursing your dreams remember Reach for the moon. Even if you miss you'll land among the stars. Do not let self esteem stop your from your hearts desire. Enjoy this year and be grateful that you are alive, and blessed with the chance to do what everyone is not able to. So Go forth and triumph and let's give it our best shot. Lead by Your character and not by your reputation.

You Should Let Me Love You

See as of lately i been feeling as if i can't breathe without u.My days seems to become night when you are not around.My seconds turn to minutes, and minutes to hours without a single kiss from you i think bout u all the time but i feel you do not think bout me. If my heart could talk it would say ur name and urs alone. If i could feel an embrace holding me every night. i would want that embrace to be yours holding me tight. Because you see i have deep feelings for you.When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.

So you see all i wanna do is be the guy for you.I wanna Be your ups and ur downs Your right and your lefts,and whatever other direction there is left (lol).I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.Nothing that I wouldn't do.Go to the ends of the Earth for you,To make you feel my love. I kno you probly hear this daily form other dudes, but you see the other dudes they are not me. The differance between us is that i will cherish and treat you the way you were meant to be. I know you were made for me because you are the only person i see. All the other people that walk my way they are only here for a season but i am sure that you were given to me for a speical reason.so you see i care for you more then words can say but i wish you would let me know that you felt the same way.

So the truth of the matter is that my heart never lies and i feel that u are the one that i want to be beside. My Past may not be perfect but my past is what made me who i am today, if i wasnt for my past you wouldn't even have noticed me anyway. The past is the past i am here waiting in the present because in the future it will be you and i together. I can not promise that i wont hurt u because i am sure sum way i would but not on purpose, just know in advance that i am sorry and that the make up will be better than the break up. I can not promise only good days, because i know that bad ones will follow. But Remember it's the bad ones that help make things stronger so we can have a better tomorrow.I've known it from the moment that we met,No doubt in my mind where you belong. i kno others have hurt you and ur family isn't right but that part of ur heart i can't fix i can help mend it but i can surpport u like a partner is suppose to do. i kno u talk bout freedom but u wont be losing it, u will have it at the same time.So again you see that i am the one for you and you are the one for me, so i am telling you all this to let you know how i feel, because true love only comes once every hundred years, so Why take the chance that you won't be alive to experience the second time when i am here right now.When the evening shadows and the stars appear,And there is no one there to dry your tears,I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love.

so you see i feel that i should let u kno wat is really going on because this is it, this is the violin strings playing and the fat lady is about to sing i have ben getting to know u for the the last eight months of my life almost a year i met u in april and i have been geting to kno u. most people would have giving up by now but not me but i have been running a race that i am not sure there is a finnish line for and i am getting tired and my feet are about to break, i cant keep these tears from falling down my face as i write you this but i do nto wanna lose this race i am a good man , and this good man cares for u deeply, i kno u r not stupid and i kno u r damaged but let me be that bandaide, let me fix it give me da chance that i have been waiting for but like i said the fat lady is gonna sing, Well I don't expect The world to move underneath me but for God's sake could you try.I know that you're true to me.You're always there, you say you care,I know that you wanna be mine, so why fight it just let me kno where i stand give me this one shot to carry ur heart in my heart.