What Ever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl: The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women
While its title appears to promise a factual exposition on the impact of absent fathers on black women, we really only learn its impact on the author and a few others. It is up to the reader to extrapolate further. Barras quickly shoots down her own premise by reminding us that fatherlessness is not a problem limited to or universal among blacks or black women. If you buy the well-worn argument that all mothers without men are victims and their children are doomed, this book may boost that unfairness. She writes, "Do not women ... also witness an indescribable pain that shadows them throughout their lives? Do they?" It is difficult to find a universal answer, if indeed there is one, in these pages.
The statistics are included, and the bibliography lists many related books, including novels, but it is not apparent that she has drawn on them or used them effectively in her research and arguments. She writes with such emotion (as if she herself is not healed) that it is difficult to see her as a source for advice. Her cure-all is simple: forgive and you shall be healed. The book may be helpful to some who share her pain (and feel helped by others' tales of woe) or who want to understand women who feel abandoned because they were not reared by the men who gave them life.
It might even move some fathers and mothers to do more to maintain ties for their daughters, or some adult daughters to go talk to the person they believe has abandoned them. But for me it just rang hollow, laying open old wounds and falling short on the salves and gauze necessary to help me heal properly. Fatherlessness afflicts nearly half the households in America, and it has reached epidemic proportions in the African-American community, with especially devastating consequences for black women. What happens to little girls who grow up without a father?
Barras, an accomplished journalist, identifies the "fatherless woman syndrome" and discusses the research that confirms that fatherless daughters are far more likely to suffer from debilitating rage, depression, abuse, and addictions, they tend to seek "healing" through promiscuity or anti-intimate behavior, and often end up fearing or despising the men whose love they crave. Barras gives voice to the experiences of America's fatherless women using accounts from women she has interviewed and her own personal story. She also offers a 25-question self-examination for women and advises on how to begin the healing process. These are groundbreaking insights for fatherless women of any heritage.
When I finished reading this I found to be left with a lot of questions one for example was are women the only people who experience this? Me being a male and having the same situation happen to myself I find it rather sexist that she thinks that only women experience this. Playing the devils advocate was about motherless children who grow up with out the love and affection that only a mother can provide. We all know that most males are unable to show there own emotion especially to their kids. Take for example my father he never told me he was proud of me or told me he loved me, nut I hear it from my step mother every time we talk. So as you can see that this doesn’t apply just to women but also to men as well , I think the book should be re-titled and redone to include the male perspective.
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